Because you're AWESOME and you know how to plan a party.

Yeah. It happened.

Because you have no fear of dropping your meat into a pile of taters, you dirty beast.

Your stories and your knowledge of local history is a bottomless well of wealth and entertainment.

Your long memory and ability to effectively use the search function has earned you this recognition.

All you need are two sticks and the world is now your plate of food to pick from at will.

See that innocent conversation over there? I'm gonna go and fuck it up.

You got a ticket for DWA.

Just because y'all think I don't do SHIT around here.

You can beat it. You can knead it. You can whack it with your wood.
And when they put it in their mouths they say "Mmm, that's good."

It's like your very own hairy harem.

Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

Some folks just don't understand beauty. You, however, know the beauty of men in tight clothes pounding each other violently. Football is art.

We just think you're fabulous.

You are the CCGF Patron Saint of all things inebriated.

You put the ASS in AmbASSador

Every ass has a crack in it

In this capacity, you can help guide other passive aggressive pussies through the migration from TGF and Facebook to a place where men that have known the touch of a woman reign.

You might not make any sense, but by god you're going to try to make up for it in verbosity.